Another Day, Another Demi

     Everyone has that person in their life who they look up to more than anyone. Someone who they go to first for anything. Maybe it's a parent, or a sports player, but for me it's a singer. I see her as so much more than just a singer though (although her music is extraordinary). I see Demi Lovato as an inspiration, and as a warrior. Demi has been through so much- from an eating disorder to struggling everyday with bipolar disorder, and the fact that she can still get on a stage every night boggles my mind. She is definetly a role model to me in the fact that regardless of what happens, she bounces right back up and keeps going. She doesn't let anything define her, and she knows what she wants. She's my everything, and October 22, 2014, I was fortunate enough to meet her. 

      I don't want to tell you about my day at the arena, waiting three hours for thirty seconds with my hero, but I want to tell you how beautiful things that simple can make you feel. You see, once there was nothing but a curtain in between Demi and I, everything good I've ever experienced because of her came back to me. I've met one of my best friends through her music, and I thought of her. I've spent hours watching her interviews and smiling because of her smiling, and I felt that. I remembered when I got her third album for Christmas in seventh grade- I made my mom take me to the store because I wanted to make sure she got the right one. I felt that and once the curtain opened everything I wanted to tell her disappeared because she was real and I was shocked. I managed a few words and all I can remember is a look we shared. It was as if she knew how much time and love I've put into her without me even telling her. 

     Being a fan of something or someone is different then feeling as if they are your own angel. Demi is my angel, along with millions of other people, and to have spent even ten seconds with her makes me feel like I've known her forever.
     Nothing makes me more thankful though, that I got to see her live for the second time afterwards. Seeing her do what she loves brings me so much joy. The way that she performs with so much passion is remarkable, and to experience seeing her do that for the second time is such an accomplishment of mine. My friend and I snuck up to the barrier of the stage for the encore, and when she looked at me and sang I felt like she was talking to me. I feel like Demi and I are celebrating our lives and our accomplishments together whenever I see her in concert, and it breaks my heart to know that she won't be back in the states for another year. I hope that on her next tour, I make even more memories with her than I have now. She'll forever be my inspiration, and I thank her for showing me how to be a warrior as well.
 

There's A Memory That Keeps Playing Through My Head And...

     There's a specific song that I listen to that brings me back to the same place in time in my life. I remember waking up on a late June day to a text message. A friend of mine wanted to hang out, and I hadn't even talked to them in ages let alone see them, so I was very hesitant at first. I agreed though, simply because I knew that if I let this pass me by, I'd forever live trapped in a "what if."

     I remember walking down to one of the elementary schools in my town- as I walked I thought of how awkward that day was going to be, but I laughed it off. I always did. I got there a half an hour early, but I wasn't the only one who thought to leave early. I greeted my friend, and we decided that day to go on a hike. We hiked up a small mountain, to the top, and we started exploring. We ended up finding a rock that we could sit on to overlook the nearby pond, and wow was that beautiful. I remember being out of breath, maybe by the hike, but now a days I think it was because I was having such an unforgettable time. We sat there for hours and just talked. We talked about everything, and I don't say that lightly. Now its a blur, but one thing isn't. I remember overlooking the pond and just soaking that day in. I still see the sun and the way it hit the trees, even in the day time. I still see the glimmer of the light on the pond and I still feel the infinity I felt in that moment.

     We later ended up building a fort out of sticks, and seeing snakes and finding a ledge where we dangled and looked over a dried out swamp. That was the end to one of the most fun days of my life.

     That day taught me that yes, maybe things aren't the best one hundred percent of the time, but regardless of how bad anything may seem, nothing can overshadow the good in life. The beauty, the happiness and the love that you feel is always more important than any fight or feeling that isn't the best. So whenever I'm doubting my path or my choices, I remember that day and I smile knowing that a journey is far more beautiful then any destination could ever be.

Sacredness Of The Ordinary- My Drawing Notebooks

They sit throughout my room, in their own little shelf, or box, or even in the palm of my hand. It’s nighttime- particularly a cold one, and I know this because the heat is turned up a little too much. It’s been a long day, and honestly, I’m more drained than a sink. I have things that I can’t quite process, feelings that are building up and they’re a mess, so I open my notebook to the next page and I start drawing. A lot of people ask me how I think of the things I draw, and to be honest I don’t. I just think, and I vent to the paper and I wait until its done and then I reflect. Sometimes I don’t even feel like it was me who drew it, but I see the emotion behind it and that clears up any confusion.  

     This has become a part of my daily routine. Whatever time of day it might be: noon time, evening, or the wee hours of the morning, if an idea comes to mind it needs to get on paper. I can’t explain it, but being an artist comes with side effects. It’s not too bad, unless you consider waking up at 1 am with an idea and not being able to go to bed until you draw it as being so. 

     There are five. Each book has its own personality, if you shall, and each tells a different story. My first one isn’t the most powerful, but I see the potential of not just the piece, but of myself at the time. Art has a funny way of doing that too, it’ll always show you how you were at a time without even meaning to. My second one means the most to me. Given to me by a past friend, nothing means more than a book that represents someone encouraging you to grow. My third was a turning point. From black and white pencil to color, it shows my life blossoming into something I had no idea was possible.  My fourth was my favorite. An entire year of my life is preserved, along with the people and places I was fond of. My fifth book? Its in my hands. Its processing and processing and one day it’ll be done but until then all I need to do is feel. Regardless of what I feel it’ll end up in this book, and for that I have no words. That is why these books mean everything to me- because they’re my little diaries. Art turns a lot of bad things positive, and nothing feels better than looking back and seeing something worthwhile.

      Very few people see my drawing books as safe havens. I guess that’s what makes them special to me. There aren’t any memories that stick out to me on why these are so important in my life, because I am reminded every single day. Every day I have the opportunity to fill another page, and every single day I make another entry. My drawing books are a collection of memories and emotions that will continue to grow for the rest of my life.