Dear Lil Freshies (Pt. 2)

     So, now that you have been acquainted with the WMHS halls and have become numb to the anxieties of High School, I want to tell you a little bit about getting involved. When it comes to clubs and extracurriculars, GET INVOLVED. After school activities are a great way to meet new people and try new things out you didn't know you'd end up loving. The great thing about clubs is that you can do as many as you want, so I suggest you try something new! Step out of your comfort zone in High School, because it'll definitely be worth it.
     When I signed up for my first season of running in High School, I remember laughing as I filled out my Family id. I didn't know how to train for it, and my asthma was poorly controlled which made it even harder. I was never your athlete protégé, in fact XC was my first ever sport. The first week of practice hurt more than I can ever put into words, but the love and encouragement I had from my team and the passion and dedication I learned my first XC season carried with me into not only indoor and outdoor track season, but also my entire Freshman year. Without that "yolo" moment of signing up for XC, something I had no idea I'd end up obsessed with, I wouldn't have grown this year as much as I have. That is why I suggest joining a sport or club that catches your eye. I want you to experience what I have through running and sports. Trust me, doing after school activities is worth it- I met over half of my friends through track, and I've learned how to discipline myself and get my work done off the track and the trails.
     One more thing: don't be afraid of failing. I've said this one thousand times before, but nobody will judge you if you join math team and get a lot of problems wrong. Nobody will judge you if you get 30:00 for your home course pb in XC when most sub 25:00. Follow your passion for you, and if you don't know what that passion is- go find it. There's a quote I love that I'd like to share with you, "If it makes you nervous, you should go for it." So go for it, and enjoy your Freshman year. Make it worthwhile.

Dear Lil Freshies

     To the incoming Freshman class- hello. Welcome to the mixing pot of late nights and early mornings, procrastination, and the tidal waves of stress that makes up High School. It's not all that bad though; I mean I like to say I had a pretty good year, but I came into High School with these expectations that I was just going to buckle down and bang out A's and 4.0's like it was no big deal. This made for a very anxious mind, and I can't stress this enough: ANXIETY AND STRESS DOES NOTHING BUT INHIBIT SUCCESS. Whether it be grades, or even fitting in, worrying about something you can't even control yet is taking up your brain space! Fill your mind up with encouraging thoughts, as well as positive affirmations to keep you motivated and grounded- my favorite is "today's best today." Remember to take your school life day by day, because we all have good days and bad ones as well, and you can't let bad grades or rejection slow you down.  
     If I could tell little eighth grade me some advice, it'd be this: don't be afraid. Fear of acceptance and superiority made me want to change who I was at one point, and sometimes I really felt out of place. Whenever I walked through the halls, I felt like I wasn't supposed to be at WMHS. I hate to break it to you, but you have every right to be there. You belong in High School! I know, sometimes the fact that you're even in High School can throw you off, but you'll get used to it. These are your halls- in these halls you'll awkwardly drop books and disturb the flow of student body traffic, you'll sit on the benches outside of each wing before classes begin and try to finish last night's homework, you'll pretend you didn't see those two upperclassmen enjoying their PDA, and you'll try to find the longest possible route to take from one class to the other. Don't be afraid of the other students either. Turns out, all grades have their mix of people you'll end up meeting and becoming really close with. Don't be afraid to be yourself. If you want to wear your hair a different way than normally- do it. I always tell myself that nobody will go home and remember what you wore: everybody is worried about themselves. Be an individual, and love every second of it. Chances are, you probably will never talk to or see most of these people after High School, so don't be worried about embarrassing yourself. Don't be afraid of failure either. I know that college looms over you every time you even think about grades, but you can't wear down your mind like that. If it's 1 am and you have the choice to study or sleep, sleep. If you get a C or below on a test, don't go home and sit in bed for two hours listening to sad music. You can no longer control a bad grade, all you can do is use the negativity as leverage to prove to yourself you can bounce back. Don't obsess over grades either. I've learned that if it's late and I want to draw and take a breather, it's better to tend to your mental health and well being rather than being tied up in stress. It's all about balance- take care of your hobbies and your passions. You need to be okay in your head in order to excel in school.
     My biggest piece of advice for you guys is to just take care of yourself first. I know the stress will try to eat away at your head, but you can tell it to chill, for lack of a better phrase. Eat enough food, nourish your body, drink plenty of water and get plenty of sleep, exercise and treat yourself- do anything you feel would make you happy. Don't forget- you are living as well. Your whole life is not school. Well, good luck, and trust me, you'll have a pretty fun time at WMHS.

My Future n Stuff

     I've always been the type to preach living in the moment. At concerts, I barely use my phone, when hanging out with friends, I try not to only focus on taking pictures together. I spend a lot of time just absorbing my life and its motions. Although this is the case, High School has me in the cycle of waking up and wondering what I could do today to prepare for my future. Everyone spends their days preparing for tomorrow- preparing for the rest of their lives, and most are so caught up in that mindset that they don't even realize the life they DO have flashing away before them. This... idea has been in the back of my head for the longest time, and there's this inner conflict that stems from it. Some may call it giving up, but to me, I have become more awake to the reality of the future. The truth is, there is no future, nor no past. There is only right now- this one second I am in, and from this second I will travel to the next like the last one never happened. I found a quote online a few days ago that reads, "No amount of guilt can change the past, just like no amount of anxiety can change the future." You have no idea how this impacted me. It really set straight the conflict I had with all the days I had scheduled, and all the stress I was putting on myself. I realized that I can't spend every day going to school and doing well because I'm afraid to fail. I shouldn't be afraid to fail. I should be able to walk into that building every day like yesterday never happened, and do what today's best is. Last Cross Country season, we had a mantra, "Today's best today," and to me, that is how I want to live the rest of my life. If today's best today is waking up early, putting myself together, and feeling ready for the day, so be it. If today's best today is only having enough strength to brush my hair, great. Every day is a gift- every day is an idea. A day is one of those objects you draw in art class that has all these asymmetrical faces, and when your class sits around it and draws it, everyone draws something different. Everyone chooses the seat they sit in- maybe because it looks easier to draw from that angle- just like some people choose easy ways to look at their lives and their futures: go to school, get an education that guarantees them a job that pays well, and live a comfortable life. Me? Well, today I aspire to be happy. Tomorrow, I might aspire to sleep on park benches forever, or maybe I'll want to live off the grid in the woods. Who knows, I certainly don't. 

Summer

     Lately, it's been getting much warmer outside, which makes me yearn for summer so much more. We're so close to the end of the year, so close all of us can taste it.  The seniors are leaving this month, and all the spring sports are concluding soon as well. To be honest, I've never been more excited for the last day of school in my entire life. 
     Don't get me wrong, High School is actually really fun, but we all need a break.  Although I don't get a break from sports- I have to train for Cross Country in the fall- having a break from school work is just what I need, and I think I speak for everybody on that one. I can't wait to wake up whenever I want, and go for a bike ride or run in the morning before the heat gets too unbearable.  I cant wait to go to the beach and get super tan and dark, and I can't wait for the food. I don't know why, but ice cream, fried dough, and everything bad for you tastes better in the summer.
     Hopefully, this summer lives up to my expectations, and I don't end up sitting in bed all day doing nothing like usual. I also hope that I get to spend this summer with all the new friends I've made so far in High School. Until then, I better finish my homework.

Disconnection

She lied on the ground,
and looked into the blue sky.
She noticed a bird.

All of a sudden she knew
How it felt to fly away.

My Head is so Fuzzy

     So my sister Candice is a Junior in high school, and tonight is her Junior prom. She's been to prom before, her boyfriend is a senior so she knows what to expect and stuff, but it just hit me how old she is. Candice turned 17 two days ago, she has her license, she has a job, and she is so close to applying to college and leaving me behind. Her boyfriend, who's like my brother, is leaving in a few months too, and it's so overwhelming. All three of us hang out all the time, and to think that that'll never happen again once he goes to college is so... weird. It's weird because that's life as I know it; I go to school with my sister in the car, and once I get home from practice both of them are usually at the dinner table when I join them. In a year, that won't be the case anymore.
     I remember Candice's 15th birthday so vividly. We went out for Mexican food, and at the time I thought she was so old- she was a real teenager. I swear I blinked and the past two years vanished. I'm the fifteen year old now, and I'm the teenager. Candice is practically an adult, and I bet you I'll blink again and she'll have graduated from college.
     It's crazy how fast time flies by. How one day, instead of driving to school together we'll meet up for lunch god knows where and discuss how our careers are going. One day, I'll be watching her get married, and one day I'll have nieces and nephews. One day, we might not live in Woburn, and we might forget the little details of our teen years- like how we walked to our dad's house every Tuesday and Wednesday at 5pm sharp, or how we'd always run into eachother in the kitchen right before 6am on the weekdays. I might be thinking a little bit too far ahead of myself on this one, but one day life as we know it will be life as we knew it, and by then, hopefully we take our families together on vacation, and watch our children play together and remember what it was like to be little kids.

The Book Thief: Movie Review

     This past week, my class watched The Book Thief, a movie based around the book The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak. The movie was directed by Brian Percival, and Percival made the tone of the movie much lighter than the book. The movie was a loose representation of the book, and many important points to the plot were left out. As for the plot: The movie takes place in the mid-1900's, in Nazi Germany. Eleven year-old Liesel Meminger was taken to her new home at the Hubermann's on Himmel Street because her mother could no longer care for her. Here, she is raised by Hans and Rosa Hubermann, and Hans teaches Liesel how to read using a book she stole at the scene of her brother's burial. Liesel finds her passion for books, as well as for reading, in Molching Germany. The movie goes through her adolescent years, growing up, facing the challenges of having very little, as well as sharing memories with her friend Rudy. The movie also showcases the challenges and problems with growing up in Nazi Germany, under the rule of Adolf Hitler. But Liesel still manages to have a wonderful life, that only gets more interesting once the Hubermanns harbor a Jew in their basement- Max Vandenburg.
     In the movie, the characters each had their own unique personality. The main characters include: Liesel Meminger, Rudy Steiner, Hans and Rosa Hubermann, Death (narrator), and Max Vandenberg. In the beginning of the movie, Liesel was a very quiet and shy girl, but as the movie progresses, she becomes more open once she finds her place on Himmel  Street. Rudy, Liesel's best friend, is a very energetic and handsome boy, and other characters such as Max and Hans have a very comforting, calm, and open mind, which really deepens the conflict between characters, and gives us a better understanding of how they feel. The acting throughout the movie was very emotional, as well as realistic and natural. The Book  Thief had very good acting, especially from Max and Hans. Each actor fit the bill for the character they were playing as well. Although this was the case, there are some key elements missed from the book that affected the movie. In the book, there is a more solemn tone, yet in the movie, some of the saddest scenes were made positive. The book that Max gave Liesel was blank instead of written in, and Liesel and Max bonded over books instead of nightmares, which was very generic and did nothing special for the movie, or the relationship between the characters. Some scenes not included in the book helped the move though. During the bombing on Himmel Street in the movie, Max actually left the house to go outside for the first time in forever. This scene is very emotional, and captures the way Max saw the world, as well as how human the Jews really were.
     Overall, the movie The Book Thief ranks about a 3/5 stars. The movie as a whole was very entertaining and keeps you interested, but the scenes missing, if added, could've made the movie much better.

Memories

     I love memories- especially the ones you didn't plan. I love those "spur of the moment" ideas that you end up remembering for the rest of your life. Since I've been feeling nostalgic these past few days, I would like to share some of my fondest memories with you.
     April of my eighth grade year, my best friends and I went on an adventure. We've done some crazy stuff these past few years, but this day never ceases to still bring a smile to my face. That day, my friends and I walked around aimlessly, found cool graffiti walls, swam in a river, and climbed giant hills and rocks. Honestly, I remember that day like it was yesterday. We ended our day by a bonfire, making s'moores, and sleeping in a tent full of blankets, where we woke up the next day in the sun to pancakes. There were five of us, so that night was the first time we ever had a sleepover with all of us together, and to this day, that was one of the best nights of my life. The idea of being with people you love and just doing whatever you wanted to at the time is a feeling I'll never forget.
     Another memory that I think of often happened this past July in the Caribbean. I was with my family in the Cayman Islands, and me being me, I wanted to go on an adventure. Finding new places by myself is something I've always done to clear my head and have some time to myself, so I thought what better time to have some fun then in another country? So, when we had some down time, I left the room my sister and I were staying in and just decided to find someplace to explore. I went to a woody area across the street from our hotel, and I was pulling out my camera to capture the moment when I noticed a lizard out of the corner of my eye. This was no ordinary lizard- you see, the Cayman Islands are known for their blue iguanas, which are literally like 4 feet long. This lizard was MASSIVE, and when I realized that my heart stopped. I tried to walk away slowly when I heard the leaves rustle behind me and I kid you not, at least five more four foot lizards came out of nowhere and surrounded me. Being alone, I thought I was going to be eaten alive, so I tried my best to slowly leave the area and once I saw the street I booked it. That was probably not only the stupidest and scariest thing I've ever done, but one of the funniest ones to look back on.
     One final memory I want to share happened this past January. When we had all those snowdays, one of my favorite singing groups,  Fifth Harmony, announced that they were doing a signing on the other side of Boston on a day we had off, and my friends and I HAD to go. We didn't even have rides or a days notice, but we woke up, got ready, and managed to get there with no exact plan. We just knew that it would be worth it in the end, even if we were stranded across Massachusetts. We went to the place where it was at 11, and spent six hours at this mall we've never even heard of, to meet 5H not once, not twice, but three consecutive times. While we were there, we planned out our rides home and everything, so we were no longer worried, but going all the way to Hanover with no real plan eight hours after you made plans was one of the most courageous and rebellious things I'll probably ever do. It was worth it though, because I had an amazing day with my friends full of laughs and exciting memories.
     So yeah, I've done some risky and not-so-smart things in my short lifetime so far, but those are the memories I will remember forever. There's a quote that goes "Life happens when you're busy making other plans," and I feel like this resonates with me a lot because the best memories I've made were ones I never intended on making. So go and do something risky, I promise you it'll be 100% worth your while.
    

Routines

     So for the past six weeks, I've been in the off-season in between indoor and outdoor track. To be honest, I'm really enjoying my free time, and being able to run on my own, at my own pace. But, even though I've stayed conditioned in this time, I know that getting back into the routine in general will be super difficult. I'm not good with routines- I'm always trying to break out of my comfort zone and just enjoy what I want to in the moment. So, even though I love to run and am looking forward to track more than anything, I'm not looking forward to the drag of getting home at 5 every day.
     This seems so negative, but bare with me. Although I hate routines, and the idea of being comfortable in general- I love what comes out of them. Without having a routine in the morning, I'd never be able to get ready. If I didn't get ready, I wouldn't have a lunch for school or a bag packed. Without having an after school routine, I'd never eat a snack or do my homework and get my run in. It is this very idea that reminds me that although routines are against everything I believe in, sometimes sticking it out in something you don't like can be worth it.
     Imagine life without routines: you wouldn't feel happy with your appearance in the morning, and your confidence could be down the drain that day. You wouldn't fuel your body properly, and grow and have your health. You wouldn't have good marks in school, or even get to school on time. So yeah, sometimes routines get boring and repetitive, but it is because of these boring little rituals that we are given the opportunity to experience our lives without worry.

What its Like to be an Artist

The number of blank notebooks and canvases
I've bought to make art on never does
The irony of the matter any justice,
Because trying to put the mixing bowl of
Thoughts and ideas onto an 8 by 11
Piece of paper never gets easier.

Imagine being alone in the middle
Of the arid lands of Africa with a
Stampede of wildlife coming right at you,
And you had to spot the zebra in the middle
In time for you not to get trampled.
Now, imagine not being given a telescope
But having to identify Mars in the entire
Sea of stars in the night sky.
Everyday I do this.
Everyday I sift through the thoughts
I have been presented with for the day
And I pick the one I can work with.

There's this itch you get under your
Fingertips when you're an artist-
It's never gone away for me, and there's
Good and bad to that,
Because having this need to put something
On paper gets overwhelming when you
Have no ideas, or too many-
Sometimes you have a feeling that
Deserves to be recognized but there is no
Way on earth you can do it justice.

So, yes, being an artist is something
I never would have chosen, but its
Something that has slowly woven itself
Into my DNA, and I might as well
Stick it out for a while, I mean who knows,
Maybe something incredible will come out of this.

Courage

       Courage is a hike. Its an endless slope that has peaks and drops you never saw coming, but that's the fun of it. During the excursion your feet start to ache, and your legs practically become numb, but you wouldn't trade this feeling for the world. This feeling of somehow knowing that this one moment; this one turn could change your life forever. It could either reveal this rainstorm you never intended on walking into, or it could uncover a meadow so beautiful you never want to leave. You realize the longer you walk, the stronger you become, and the more confident you become within yourself. Whether it be dead ends or waterfalls you stumble upon, each decision makes you more aware of the undying truth that you are consciously shaping the trail you are walking on, and that the beautiful moments in life don't always have to be planned.

My Snowday Must- Haves

     So, this week we all got a couple extra das off of school, which was very nice but bittersweet, as we could not leave the house and if you were like me, you got bored fast. So, I want to share with you what keeps me entertained and happy on a snowday.
     First of all, warm drinks. There are many choice drinks, such as coffee, or hot chocolate, but my favorite hot drink is green tea, just because all you have to do is put the bag in water and it'll taste the same every time. Warm drinks make you feel cozy and warm, which is exactly what you need. Fun snacks are important too, I like to go with something like a smoothie that'll remind me of the summer. This week I made a watermelon smoothie, which was very refreshing and made me feel like I wasn't trapped inside because of two feet of snow and hurricane force winds.
     Next, good movies are necessary. I usually go with really deep movies or action movies- not necessarily chick flicks, but ones that'll make me think and distract me for a long time. Some really good movies are: Palo Alto, Submarine, Attack the Block, and The Silver Linings Playbook. All of these aren't very well known, so its nice to watch something and not be influenced by everyone's opinions of it. Netflix is important too in this case, I recommend binge-watching a series for the entirety of the day.
     Also, a good playlist doesn't hurt. On these kind of days, I usually like calmer music, like some rap, but for the first half of the day I just had to stream Fifth Harmony's new album Reflection (out February 3rd, its so good I suggest buying it) because iTunes did a first listen type deal on iTunes radio. After I heard the angels descend from heaven in music form, I put on my rap playlist, which has artists like Tyler, the Creator, and a lot of Mellowhype. I like really chill music when its cold out, so rap is just the thing.
     Finally, blankets. Need I say more?

    

I Am the Messenger: The Fourth Ace

     In the fourth part of the book, Ed is given an ace with the names of three movies, which he must decode with the help of Bernie.  Turns out, this time the three people he must help are Marv, Richie, and Audrey.
     Richie was first. Ed watched him practically do nothing for days at a time, and eventually confronted him. Rich told Ed that he just wants to... want. So, Ed made him realize that he should get a job, which he thinks is a good idea. I liked this message because  Ed got to help his friend break through the barrier he felt between himself and the life he really wanted.
     Marv's message was my favorite. Ed knows that Marv's message will have to do with money, so he tries to ask for some. Marv tells Ed the story about how his ex girlfriend was pregnant with his child, and is saving money to give to him later on. Ed realizes that Marv has to meet his child. So, they go to his ex's house, and Marv has trouble getting out of the car. But eventually he does, only to find out that his ex's dad refuses to let them in. Eventually she calls him though, and Marv sets up a time to meet his family for the first time. For the first time in forever, Marv is extremely happy.
     The third message is for Audrey. Ed knows that for Audrey, she must learn to love. So, he brings a CD player over to her house after Simon, her boyfriend leaves, and dances with her. For that moment in time, they feel the love they have for eachother very strongly, which I find very cute. I liked Ed and Audrey together from the beginning, and hope eventually they get together.
     Even though Ed thought he completed all of this adventures, all four aces, a lot is waiting for him. Its sad that the book is over- I really enjoyed it, but like the author said, Ed will continue to live even if the book is finished.

I Am the Messenger: The Third Ace

     In the third part of the book, Ed is faced with many challeges. He receives the third ace at the Sledge game he plays with his friends every year. He was expecting the ace of spades, but was pleasantly surprised when he got the ace of hearts. This time, three book titles awaited him, meaning he had to go to the library and decode the titles to get the addresses. He ended up with Glory Rd., Clown St., and Bell St.
     On glory road, a very nice family awaits him. I liked this message the most because yet again, Ed makes people realize that its the little things that count. They were a very happy family, but when Ed saw their Christmas light display, he realized that a lot of the happiness was skin deep. The family struggled a bit with getting by, so Ed knew that the least he could do was buy them new lights. The family put them up, and for a while everything seemed absolutely perfect. The family seemed more united, and its crazy how a string of lights could do that.
     Come Clown St., Ed was ordered to wait in a restaurant called Melusso's and see what happens. Eventually, Ed's mother comes in with another man, and Ed is confused and feels every emotion at once. He decided to confront his mother, and she said that she can't stand him because he reminds her of his father. He's very confused, but this message was good for both of them to realize more about their relationship.
     Bell St. On Bell St., a movie theatre was waiting for him with a friendly man named Bernie in it. He hasn't had many customers over the past few weeks, so he was surprised to see Ed. He offered him a free showing, and he could bring a lady. So, he brought Audrey, and while they were in the theatre watching their movie, they invite Bernie down to watch to. When it was time to change the reel, they notice a man is up in the room already. Ed knows its the man who has planned this entire quest, so he tries to catch up to him but fails. A reel for Ed was left, and when they watched it, Ed's journey so far was documented on video. I thought this was the most suspenseful message of the book to be honest. I can't explain it, but I felt like I was there in the theatre with Ed and Audrey, and it scared me just as much when the man in the room wasn't anywhere to be found.
     The third ace was very suspenseful, as well as heartwarming. I expect great things from the fourth ace now.

I Am the Messenger: The Second Ace

     In the second ace of I Am the Messenger, Ed receives another ace, this time the ace of clubs. This time, it only says 'say a prayer at the stones of home,' which throws Ed off. He can't seem to crack the code, until a man gets into his cab one night and brings him to the river Ed and his brother used to play at when they were young. On a rock, three names are engraved; Thomas O'Reily, Angie Carusso, and Gavin Rose.  Whether it be giving someone an ice cream cone, or a good beating- Ed has to help these people realize that sometimes its the little things that make a big difference in your point of view.
     When it comes to Thomas O'Reily, I think this was my favorite message of the three here. I liked how Ed helped the preacher get more people to his service using a party. I think it really showed how bringing people together makes a difference. I also enjoyed how Ed brought Thomas and his brother together. After not talking for so long, Ed's idea of free beer and a party brought them together and I thought that was beautiful.
     I thought the message with Angie was very nice as well. When it comes to the little things, I feel like a lot of us take those for granted. This message made me realize that I too take a lot for granted, and should be more thankful for the little things my parents do for me like drive me to track, and give me money to go to the mall. It's crazy how an ice cream cone could make Angie's children realize the same thing.
     I wasn't moved by Gavin's message, simply because I'm lucky enough to have a very strong relationship with my sister. I did like it though, how Ed helped the brothers realize how much they actually do care for and need each other. I think its really important to have a good relationship with your siblings because throughout your life, you will be with them the longest. It is important to be able to talk with them and be as close as possible.
     Overall, I really liked this ace. I hope later on, Ed helps even more people and makes more people realize how special the little things really are.

I Am The Messenger: The First Ace

     The book I Am the Messenger is a thrilling book where we see Ed, a 19 year old cab driver, bring a robber to justice. Right after this robbery took place, Ed received a poker card in the mail with three addresses. He realized that he needed to go to these addresses, and witness or help out any situation that was to occur. The first address was home to a three person family: a mom and her daughter, as well as a drunk father who raped his wife regularly. The second address was home to an old woman named Milla who is very lonely- she has been since her husband Jimmy died some sixty years ago. The last address was home to a fifteen year old girl named Sophie. She was a dedicated runner who usually ran barefoot, but during races she'd wear spikes, which hindered her performance and confidence.
      In my opinion, I think that so far the book is very interesting, and it keeps the reader attached. I think that Ed shows extreme courage when it comes to going to these addresses in general, and he solves the problems in very creative ways. When it comes to the first address, I did not see the gun coming. It was chilling that Ed had to kill a man, because he didn't know what horrible consequences were to follow if he didn't. Regardless of the plotted murder, I found the second address and Milla's story the saddest. She has been alone for years, and has a very poor memory, so when she sees Ed she immediately calls him Jimmy. She made him read to her, and eat dinner with her. Ed actually enjoyed going over. He felt connected to Milla in the sense that he could relate to her sadness. I felt very bad for both Milla and Ed- Ed had to act as if he understood what Milla was talking about, and it was hard for him to move on to the next address because Milla felt as if her dead husband has come back.
     I related to the third address the most. When Ed followed the runner girl on her runs every day, I kept thinking about summer when I used to do what Sophie did. When Sophie lost her races despite her best efforts, I related to her even more. So, to see Ed be able to help Sophie gain confidence and prove her skill, I felt like Ed was acting like my coach here- he was the one who helped me gain my confidence in running. That was my favorite part of the book so far. I loved their friendship so much as well, and hope they stay close throughout the book.
     So far, I Am the Messenger is a great book. I feel like Ed will help more people throughout the book, and learn more about himself this way too. I can't wait to find out whether or not the alcoholic man of the first address was actually killed, and if Sophie ever ends up winning a race. I hope everything unfolds in the next few parts of the book.

EPIPHANIES

     Epiphany (n.)- a moment of sudden revelation or insight

     Throughout my life, I knew I wanted to be successful. I wanted to be independent, and I wanted to control my life and my destiny. Once school got more important to me, this slowly drove me insane, since if I wanted to be successful and make enough money to support myself, I needed to get into a college with a good reputation, so I could get said job that'll satisfy me. This would take effort, and the constant reassurance that a little stress will pay off in the end.
     I wanted to be an engineer- half because I thought maybe I'd enjoy it and feel accomplished, but half because I knew it'd make me big bucks. I wanted to concentrate on the environment, and design windmills and new concepts that would save the world from this climate change and warming crisis.
     I wanted this very badly, or at least I made myself believe this. You see, I've always wanted to have a creative career as well; I went from wanting to be an interior designer to an architect to a chef about thirty times in elementary school. But, as I got older and researched more, I found that the internet always had those websites that said "10 worst college degrees that'll make you no money" and anything I wanted to do was always #1. Dreams=Crushed.
     This battle between going for the money, or going for the sake of liking something controlled my decisions and no matter how hard I researched and tried to plan my future as an engineer, the spark never came. It never clicked with me. It never gave me butterflies. But last night, I stumbled across what an Art Director is, and I cannot explain the butterflies in my stomach. I got these chills, and I had the epiphany that I can have both. I can have mad cash and do what I love. Of course, I'd have to work up to that, and it will take time and effort, but I feel confident in my abilities and I know that this is the career I have been looking for ever since I was in third grade.
     It combines everything I've ever dreamt of: design, art, power- everything. With this degree, I can go into the beauty industry- something I adore, and work for companies like L'Oreal or Makeup Forever, some of my favorite brands, and I can travel the world and do what I love. I woke up this morning and the first thing that came to mind was this new dream, and that is how I know that this one will stick with me because you know what they say: "Your heart belongs to the first thing you think about when you wake up, and the last thing you think about before you go to bed."
     The epiphany that sparked this was that when I opened up my drawing book for the first time in a week or so. I realized that I cannot stay sane without some sort of artistic outlet in my life. If choosing between money and art is something I had to do, I knew that I'd be far happier in a shack with a notebook and colored pencils than I ever would in a corporate environment for eight hours a day.