EPIPHANIES

     Epiphany (n.)- a moment of sudden revelation or insight

     Throughout my life, I knew I wanted to be successful. I wanted to be independent, and I wanted to control my life and my destiny. Once school got more important to me, this slowly drove me insane, since if I wanted to be successful and make enough money to support myself, I needed to get into a college with a good reputation, so I could get said job that'll satisfy me. This would take effort, and the constant reassurance that a little stress will pay off in the end.
     I wanted to be an engineer- half because I thought maybe I'd enjoy it and feel accomplished, but half because I knew it'd make me big bucks. I wanted to concentrate on the environment, and design windmills and new concepts that would save the world from this climate change and warming crisis.
     I wanted this very badly, or at least I made myself believe this. You see, I've always wanted to have a creative career as well; I went from wanting to be an interior designer to an architect to a chef about thirty times in elementary school. But, as I got older and researched more, I found that the internet always had those websites that said "10 worst college degrees that'll make you no money" and anything I wanted to do was always #1. Dreams=Crushed.
     This battle between going for the money, or going for the sake of liking something controlled my decisions and no matter how hard I researched and tried to plan my future as an engineer, the spark never came. It never clicked with me. It never gave me butterflies. But last night, I stumbled across what an Art Director is, and I cannot explain the butterflies in my stomach. I got these chills, and I had the epiphany that I can have both. I can have mad cash and do what I love. Of course, I'd have to work up to that, and it will take time and effort, but I feel confident in my abilities and I know that this is the career I have been looking for ever since I was in third grade.
     It combines everything I've ever dreamt of: design, art, power- everything. With this degree, I can go into the beauty industry- something I adore, and work for companies like L'Oreal or Makeup Forever, some of my favorite brands, and I can travel the world and do what I love. I woke up this morning and the first thing that came to mind was this new dream, and that is how I know that this one will stick with me because you know what they say: "Your heart belongs to the first thing you think about when you wake up, and the last thing you think about before you go to bed."
     The epiphany that sparked this was that when I opened up my drawing book for the first time in a week or so. I realized that I cannot stay sane without some sort of artistic outlet in my life. If choosing between money and art is something I had to do, I knew that I'd be far happier in a shack with a notebook and colored pencils than I ever would in a corporate environment for eight hours a day.